Why Affirmations are VITAL for Mothers, & How to Write Them

I am a new-ish mother, and these thoughts on affirmations for mothers are my own. If you are a mother with additional years and children ‘under her belt’, I would love to hear your comments below!

WHY DO MOTHERS NEED AFFIRMATIONS?

Affirmations help mothers approach difficult situations with motivation & positivity.

Motherhood is a stressful job.

You never really know how hard it’s going to be until you’re right in the middle of doing it.

But, just like all other hard things in life, the work and time you devote to it will be SO worth it in the end.

Here are some more examples of hard things that are worth it:

• Getting a college degree
• Having a Home Birth
• Planting a successful garden
• Starting a business
• Making Dinner before 6:00 when you forgot to go shopping and the baby is crying…

(Okay that last one was kind of a joke… kind of…)

All of these examples come with built in stress, discouragement, and failures along the way. They only way to succeed is to face the challenge head on and tell yourself “You can do this!”

You wouldn’t be very smart to start a business and tell yourself “You made a huge mistake, You are a horrible entrepreneur.”

When things get difficult, positive thinking is the way to make it through.

Positivity breeds motivation.

Motherhood is NO different.

If you want to experience the joy of eating a salad made from greens from your own garden, you have to put in the work and have a little faith!

(Ask a farmer about their faith… they have some of the best positive outlooks of anyone out there!)

Similarly, if you want to change your “bad mom days” into great ones, you have to change your attitude, and get to work!

Affirmations are a great tool to utilize to help you respond to those challenging situations with positivity.

Just like you would cheer yourself on and make goals to earn a degree or start a business, you need to do so as a mother!

Affirmations help you reprogram your thinking

How can you transform your bad mom days into great ones? Can you magically make nothing bad ever happen again?

Of course not.

I will tell you the secret. They key is, (surprise) your attitude.

It always starts with your attitude!

• Reclaiming your bad days starts with changing your attitude.
• Changing your attitude starts with Fixing your thinking.
• Fixing your thinking starts with RE-PROGRAMING your thinking habits.

If you are a mother who is prone to negative thinking habits, you need to stop if you want to enjoy motherhood. Why? Because if you are always telling yourself “this isn’t worth it!” then you will start to believe it’s not worth it.

If you find yourself saying “I don’t really like motherhood as much as I thought I would” then you will learn to dislike it even more.

If you want to teach yourself how to think positively about motherhood, homemaking, and all they entail, you need to teach yourself how to think affirmative thoughts.

Does this mean you need to lie to yourself? No. We will get to that later. Keep reading. 🙂

Affirmations help you refocus on what is real & important

Its important to note that affirmations aren’t meant to trick you into thinking nothing is wrong. In fact, the way I like to write affirmations HIGHLIGHTS a problem you have.

No, in reality affirmations are meant to help you refocus on the reality of the situation, and remind yourself what is important to you.

When you are full of negative thoughts, you are not in a place where you can effectively cope with life’s lemons.

Affirmations help you to confront hardships, and help motivate you to move through them.

I love this quote from a great article I read today from Mayo Clinic: (I recommend you read it too!)

Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life’s less pleasant situations. Positive thinking just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way.

Mayo Clinic

WHAT EXACTLY ARE AFFIRMATIONS?

The word affirmation means simply “Emotional support or encouragement.”

Affirmations are POWERFUL, and they can really help you change your attitude.

I know this because I speak from experience! I used to have seriously negative thought habits. They made me unmotivated, angry, and stressed.

But TEACHING myself to think positively has CHANGED my life.

When you affirm a truth to yourself, you are not only reminding yourself of what is real, but also refocusing your mind on what is most important to you.

The key to a successful affirmation is that you affirm a truth.

You can’t tell yourself “You are the best mom in the world,” after you’ve had a crummy day with your kids.

That won’t make you feel better, because it’s not true.

That because no one is the best mom in the world. Not surprisingly, only TRUE affirmations will actually help you feel better. Does that make sense?

It is better to be honest with yourself than tell yourself you are perfect. Self evaluation is key to improvement in ANY (and ALL) areas.

As another example, instead of telling yourself “It’s okay, you did your best” after you yelled at your kids, why not think more highly of yourself? Is that really your best?

A better affirmation option would be: “You lost your cool today, mama. But tomorrow you have the chance to do it right.”

See? THAT is a true statement that has the potential to actually heal and support you.

Affirmations are NOT meant to be enabling, they are meant to refocus you and motivate you to do good and be better!

HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY USE AN AFFIRMATION

To illustrate how to use an affirmation, consider this story:

Imagine you have a newborn baby, who is struggling to learn to sleep at night. Due to this, you are EXHAUSTED and frustrated, wishing you could just get ONE night of uninterrupted sleep.

You are upset, and start thinking about how horrible the ‘newborn phase’ is, how hard motherhood is, and how much you long for a day in the future when you don’t “have to do this anymore.”

(Ask me how I came up with this scenario…)

Your stress seems to be escalating. But you turn and see the affirmation you have written on your bedside table and read it aloud to yourself.

“YOU are the mother your baby needs today.” Take a deep breath, and refocus. You are the mother your baby needs today.

Good work, you have just affirmed to yourself a truth! You’ve refocused on the important priority in your life and you have taught yourself how to reprogram your thinking habit.

You have just won a small battle.

That is how you use an affirmation, in a time of stress you repeat it to yourself, and in turn empower yourself.

HOW DO YOU WRITE AN AFFIRMATION?

There are basically 3 steps to writing great and motivational affirmations for mothers:

1. Identify a fear, problem or struggle area you have
2. Reframe or redirect that problem into a ‘silver lining’
3. Create your supporting or encouraging phrase

Here’s how to do it:

Step 1. Identify a problem you have

One problem I have as a mother is being quick to raise my voice. I know yelling at my kids is wrong, but it seems to be one of the default responses I deal with.

Problem: Guilt for yelling at kids.

Step 2. Reframe problem into a silver lining

Is there a silver lining for feeling guilty when I yell at my kids? Yes, in fact, there is.

Guilt is hard, but it is actually a GREAT motivational tool to help you change for the better.

When I feel guilt for yelling, that is a huge signal that I am AWARE of the problems that need fixing in my life. That’s a good thing! Awareness is the first step towards change, after all.

Silver Lining: Guilt is a great tool for change

3. Create your encouraging phrase.

Now remember, affirmations should NOT enable poor behavior. Instead they should encourage positive thinking.

Remember to make your phrase a TRUTH phrase, not an enabling phrase.

Affirming Phrase: Yelling causes you guilt, but you can turn that guilt into resolve to be better!

See? There you go! Its easy.

Lets try another.

Step 1. Identity a fear or problem.

Some mothers fear that they will “lose themselves” if they devote so much of their life to motherhood.

Fear: Losing your identity when you become a mother

Step 2. Identify a silver Lining

While devoting so much time and effort to another human (or several) certainly takes sacrifice, it is also true that sacrifice is the greatest way to form love.

Silver Lining: Sacrifice breeds love

Step 3. Create an affirming phrase

Affirmation: Though you sacrifice much of yourself and your desires to be a mother, you have given your children the greatest gift a mother could give, love.

Hey that’s a good one. 🙂 You can borrow it 🙂

WHERE/WHEN SHOULD YOU USE AFFIRMATIONS?

The most important thing to do is to print your affirmations or write them down, and place them in key areas where you will BENEFIT from seeing them and reading them aloud.

Some ideas of places to keep affirmations include: On a mirror, on the fridge, in your closet, on your phone, etc. I even have an affirmation on my water bottle!

You could really benefit from practicing reciting the affirmation to yourself in times of stress or need. Repeating positive phrases to yourself is a great form of cognitive therapy.

In short, use affirmations OFTEN!

A GIFT FOR YOU:

I have created a FREE printable collection of affirmations for mothers, that I want YOU to have.

All you have to do is sign up for my awesome newsletter and I will send it straight to your inbox. 😉

These affirmations are CUTE, 100% free, and there are 20 of them in the pack.

You can download them, print them, and I really encourage you to pick your favorites and hang them on your bathroom mirror, in your ‘spot’ or even use one as your phone background.

I hope this gift for you is helpful and encourages you to ENJOY motherhood and remember to think positively in hard moments.

It is hard, but positivity can change your mothering for the better. And, kids learn best by example. 😉

IN SUMMARY:

• Affirmations are essential for mothers because they help mothers to refocus on truth, which supports them, encourages them, and motivates them to find the positive.

• Affirmations are easily written by determining a problem, identifying the silver lining, and creating a supportive TRUE phrase.

• Use affirmations OFTEN, and learn to embrace positive thinking!

I have been through those hard days (and I still have them, and I always will!) and I wanted to share these thoughts with you to help you know that you can change your thoughts for the better, and improve your ‘relationship’ with motherhood. It worked for me!

I want to know, do you have experiences with affirmations (specifically affirmations for mothers?) Do you use them in your life?

You might also like these posts:

• When Youre Feeling Disconnected to Your Kids
• Daylight Savings, A Tantrum, & A Parenting Win. (A Mother’s Tale)