When planning a home birth it is SO helpful to hear from other moms. Listening to the birth stories of these experienced women is so insightful and uncovers some of the mystery behind home birth. These 5 home birth questions are vital ones that moms ask me frequently, and today I am going to answer them!
I had the amazing opportunity to be a part of the very first home birth Q&A panel hosted by Katelyn Fusco of the Happy Homebirth Podcast. It was such a fun experience to share my home birth stories and answer all sorts of questions- from home birth faq’s to more in depth questions- about home birth and postpartum with three other experienced home birth moms.
After my first daughter was born I was invited to guest teach a group of pregnant couples at some birth classes my local midwives teach, but I haven’t done that in quite some time, so it was really fun to jump back into the home birth world and be with these other women who are passionate about home birth and babies like I am!
Today I’d like to share with you 5 of the questions some of the pregnant moms submitted to us ladies on the panel to answer about homebirth and related topics. These home birth faq’s seem like simple questions, but in reality they are vital! I thought it would be fun to share with you some of my answers and give you another little inside look at why I love home birth, why I chose a midwife, and how it all works for me!
1. What made you decide to have a home birth?
I want to preface my answer to this question with this: I did NOT come from the home birth world! I did hear about one of my neighbors giving birth at home when I was a kid, but to be honest we kind of thought she was crazy, or a witch or something! 🙂
When I was in late high school and college I started reading a lot about natural living online, mostly from mom bloggers and homestead bloggers. For some reason I started getting these inklings of a simple, farmhouse life and started to devour all the online resources I could find.
The blogs about chickens and homesteading naturally evolved into a love for blogs about cooking from scratch and holistic living, and the older I got I started to be interested in parenting blogs and a lot of these moms were doing home birth. That is how I first realized home birth was a real option for me.
When I got married, I started seriously researching home birth. I read many books on the subject. Like MANY other moms, Ina May Gaskin’s Book “Ina May’s guide to childbirth” changed my life. It sealed the deal for me! I knew that home was the place I would feel most empowered, most comfortable, and most importantly, most safe.
Deciding to give birth at home for my very first child was interesting. I knew no one who had done it, and no one who I knew was knowledgeable about home birth which made them hesitant to support me. However, I still went forward in research, educating myself about the pros and cons of each birth setting. My confidence in home birth grew every day.
Now looking back, I do not regret it at all. I feel so blessed to have had the amazing home birth experiences that I have had. I love home birth, in fact I am obsessed with it.
It is my hope that every woman do her research and seriously consider all her birth options, especially regarding home birth.
2. How did you choose your midwife?
I found my midwife by doing a simple online search and picking one that appealed to me based on her website, location, etc. I called her and set up an initial interview where I could meet her, tour her birth center, and discuss what I wanted for my birth.
After that meeting, I was blown away, and so excited that I had found her. She is an older woman with 12 of her own children. This fact alone really appealed to me because I knew she knew how to care for birthing women, because she had been there! Not to mention her certifications and other perks such as belly binding, placenta encapsulation, and a birth class.
This midwife didn’t start formal prenatal appointments until 12-14 weeks. When I was just over 12 weeks pregnant with my first child, I had a miscarriage. I hadn’t really begun to see the midwife yet, but I called her and asked for her help with my miscarriage. She gave me some coping advice, herbal advice, and told me to keep in touch with her.
I had never gone through anything so heart wrenching or scary before. It was really frightening, and I didn’t really know what to do while I was miscarrying. We were still very young newlyweds. I ended up going to the emergency room at the hospital because of my fear. (Looking back, I regret this in a lot of ways. Maybe someday I will write a post about this experience. For now I will just say that I WISH I would have just taken the calm, non medically intervened approach.)
After the miscarriage I was a little bit shell shocked and wondered if birth really was something scary after all. I decided to interview some more care providers just to make sure a midwife was what I wanted. I interviewed a hospital nurse midwife, an OBGYN and I also had a regular family doctor who delivered babies.
During my ‘interviews’ (they made me pay them for an appointment!) with the nurse and the OBGYN, I received care that I was simply not impressed with, and frankly also a little bit angry about. Someday maybe I will write a post on this experience as well. But after experiencing in only ONE appointment, the style of care I would receive for my whole pregnancy, I was not happy with anyone but that original midwife.
So, when I finally became pregnant again soon later, I went back to that midwife to initiate care. And I have never looked back from her ever since. We have a great relationship, I am so overjoyed with her prenatal and birth and postpartum care. She is like almost like a grandmother to me.
3. What were the easiest and hardest parts of your birth?
My first birth was very straight forward and not extremely challenging. It was discomfortable, but I did very well at managing my mental and emotion states and handling the surges and sensations. It was a wonderful birth.
My second birth was longer, harder, and more painful. It was hard. The hardest part of that birth was the transition phase. Mostly because of confusion and mental stress it was causing me to know that my first birth went so well, and this one was longer and harder! You can read more about my second birth here.
The easiest part of birth is “pushing” out the placenta. The best part of the birth is pushing out your baby, and seeing them for the first time. It is so blissful.
4. What do I need to know/expect about postpartum?
The postpartum period is sacred, and just as important as the prenatal and the labor. It is hard for women to slow down and allow themselves to rest, but after birthing a baby rest is vital. My advice to all new mothers (meaning pregnant women!) is to realize that you will need time to bond with your baby. You need time to mentally process your birth, time to physically heal, time to emotionally rest after a life changing experience, and time to rest from your daily cares.
God rested on the seventh day. You need to rest after your birth.
The world will be there when you get back. You need to freeze everything around you as much as you can. Just let yourself absorb the days with your new baby. This is one of the reasons I love home birth so much, because it just naturally leads itself into a restful postpartum stage. You don’t have to pack up and go home, you are already there in your bed together. You don’t have to leave for as long as you want to. It is just so peaceful.
I wrote a great post about some ways that women can prepare to thrive for the postpartum period. Take a look at it here.
5. Was there anything you wish you would have prepared for more, or done differently?
During the pregnancy of my first child, I prepared for home birth like crazy! I was SO barefoot and pregnant, and I loved every second of it. I made freezer meals, listened to a million podcasts, read so many books, I just lived and breathed birth.
My second birth I prepared also, but less intensely than I did the first time. It was hard to know what to prepare for since I had already done it before! I did re read several of my favorite birth books, and I did other various good things, but what I really wish I would have done differently was this. I shouldn’t have expected my second birth to go exactly the same as my first one. And I shouldn’t have told myself it would be x hours long or “so much easier this time”. (although many second births are, for women.)
Instead I should have prepared myself for any birth that came my way. I should have prepared to flow through anything I felt, even if it was unexpected. Really, I should have prepared for all the possibilities instead of only the one I thought I would have.
Bonus Question: What is it about home birth that you love so much?
I wanted to wrap up these thoughts with a question of my own that is frankly, really hard to answer in only a few words!
Home birth is empowering, beautiful, raw, intimate, special, and a rite of passage.
I love birthing my babies at home because it just makes sense. We are building a home based life. My kids were born here, I nurture and raise and teach them here, and this is where we want to be. I want this to be our safe place.
It is easy to make a house a home when that house is the place that sacred and special events occur in.
What can you learn from these home birth questions?
These are some of the types of questions you should be asking the home birth moms you know! Why? Because as you discover what worked and what was important to other women, you can decide what is important for you! As you research, educate yourself, hear home birth stories and ask questions, you will be preparing to have a successful home birth.
I hope my answers to these 5 home birth faq’s enlightening for you to read!
My home birth stories and experiences have really shaped me as a mother. Every woman’s journey is so different, in fact every BIRTH is so unique and all so important to our stories.
Learning about how other women birthed their babies naturally at home made all the difference to me. I had so many home birth questions before I had my first, and now I just want to answer questions for other moms and help someone out there realize it is so possible, and so beautiful.
